It has been said that failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead-end.The only way to avoid failure is to say nothing, do nothing, and be nothing. Which ironically enough is what being a failure really is: Never starting. Never trying. Never striving. Being so afraid of failure that you never even attempt to set a goal or to define what success would be for you.
It may motivate you more toward your own goals to know that some of the most famous and well-known people in modern time, as well as many throughout Scripture, including Jesus, had to overcome many obstacles before they finally reached the top. It takes persistence and total commitment to your goals, but it is possible. Only you can prevent yourself from reaching those goals, only you can stop short of the pinnacle and only you can decide that nothing can deter you from achieving the life you want–only you can be determined to succeed–no matter what!
Thomas Edison’s father called him a “dunce.” His headmaster in school told Edison he would never make a success of anything. It took Edison 1,000 attempts (or 999 “failures”) to invent the light bulb! Henry Ford barely made it through high school.
A common list of the failures of Abraham Lincoln (along with a few successes) is:
- 1831 – Lost his job
- 1832 – Defeated in run for Illinois State Legislature
- 1833 – Failed in business
- 1834 – Elected to Illinois State Legislature (success)
- 1835 – Sweetheart died
- 1836 – Had nervous breakdown
- 1838 – Defeated in run for Illinois House Speaker
- 1843 – Defeated in run for nomination for U.S. Congress
- 1846 – Elected to Congress (success)
- 1848 – Lost re-nomination
- 1849 – Rejected for land officer position
- 1854 – Defeated in run for U.S. Senate
- 1856 – Defeated in run for nomination for Vice President
- 1858 – Again defeated in run for U.S. Senate
- 1860 – Elected President (success)
Joe Paterno, head coach of the Penn State University football team, was asked by the media how he felt when his team lost a game. He rapidly replied that losing was probably good for the team, since that was how the players learned what they were doing wrong. I call that “learning by exception”–it’s the answer for next time! Next time, you can always do it over, do it again, do it differently–but only after learning what didn’t work the first time!
With God there is always a next time, another chance, actually many chances to get it “right.” With God, there are always u-turns (or “You-turns” as I like to call them). You can always turn around, turn away from distractions, turn up a new idea, turn toward God, turn things over to God.
Setbacks and failures mean little or nothing in themselves. The whole meaning of any setback — or any success, for that matter — is in how we take it and what we make of it –what the story we tell ourselves about it, and more importantly, what we tell ourselves about us! The beliefs we hold about what events, circumstances, or obstacles mean often lead to our lack of desire to keep going, or to start again, or to keep moving forward.
If we begin to believe the negative, limiting beliefs that others may have placed upon us in our past, if we just accept them as true for us, then we fall prey to confirming those beliefs, and, by giving in to them, we actually create the results of them. On the other hand, when we hold positive, empowering beliefs, then those beliefs also become our reality. As Jesus put it: “All things are possible to those who believe.” So it’s a matter of us always paying attention to what we want to attain. You can do that by applying the 80/20 rule: put 80% of your thoughts, time, and effort into the 20% of the things that will help you succeed. Ignore the 20% of the things that didn’t work, and focus on the 80% that did.
We often look at high achievers and assume they had a string of lucky breaks or made it without much effort. Usually the opposite is true, and the so-called superstar or “overnight success” had an incredibly rough time before he or she attained any lasting success. The only difference between them and us is having the determination to keep going no matter what, to work through the pain, to persist in finding a way to make it work, to allow the circumstances that “rub you the wrong way” to shape your character, and to stop only after crossing the finish line.
Think back to a time in your life you have found difficult. See what you gained as a result of what you learned, what strength you found even in the most trying times, or what strength you find now in your having overcome it. Perhaps you may never have been aware of what you gained until you think about it now. The pearl is created within an oyster because of the irritation it finds in the sand within it. So by living through painful times, we can become stronger people–the transformation depends on our ability to discover something useful to us, finding new resources that emerge from within us, in spite of the pain.
Sometimes the only reason we don’t succeed at something is that we don’t have a compelling enough “why.” If the why is big enough, the how is usually not a problem. This compelling why is connected to your life purpose, personal objectives, or mission statement. It’s the answer to the “why am I here?” and “what is it that God sent me here to be, do, or accomplish?” “What do I want to be remembered for?” It is the basis of your motivation, without it you have no compass to direct you through life. Highly motivated people are able to identify and tap into the power of a compelling why in everything they do. It gives them the fuel to drive through life’s varying roads without ever running out of gas, or getting burned out.
Until you identify the reason or reasons why you want to do something, for whom you want to do it, the pain you might alleviate, or the pleasure you or others might find from it, then you won’t be motivated enough to start or motivated long enough to persevere through everything it might take to achieve it. And, at the same time, when you have a strong enough reason why, then just the doing of it brings its own reward. It’s how you can enjoy the journey all the way up the mountain, feeling fulfilled throughout the journey, without postponing the celebration to only upon the arrival at the summit.
So when we have a strong enough purpose, a no-quit attitude, a commitment to see things through to the end, a desire to change and make adjustments along the way, a willingness to accept feedback and suggestions, a positive set of beliefs in our ability to succeed, an openness to learn and grow, an acceptance that success takes time, energy and effort, an understanding that there’s only progress, never perfection, then what we once called “failure” is not an option and no longer even exists in our mind!